Honey, Don’t Push Anger

We have all been there—whether it is getting stuck in a heavy traffic that prompted you to be late, or receiving an unfair misguided comment from a classmate. In these episodes, you caught yourself in the heat of the moment and your emotions are boiling over, each one fighting for control with Anger flaring up.

Deep and sharp as an arrow, the words you never thought you'd say come flying out. You leave the group chat in a huff, maybe even deleting the whole conversation. Some might vent publicly on social media, while others angrily crumple or tear papers and slam doors. It feels justified in the moment—until Regret, the quiet one, makes her appearance. But how do we keep Anger from seizing control of the wheel and stop the emotional volcano from erupting?

On "Inside Out 2", Joy, Sadness, and the rest of the gang show us how complex human emotions can be. Biologically, it is our brain’s amygdala that processes emotions, sometimes overriding our rational brain when things get heated. In those moments of frustration, you might let Anger make split-second decisions. Emotions like anger are natural, even necessary, but when we let them drive, they can cloud our judgment and lead us somewhere we don’t want to go. Hence, we might need to start regaining control and manage Anger without letting him manage us.

𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀

Awareness is the first step. Learn to recognize what sets off Anger in the first place. When you can name the triggers, you have a chance to slow down the emotional hijacking.

𝗣𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁

When Anger grabs the wheel, it’s time to hit the brakes. Take a step back and give yourself a moment to reflect. This doesn't mean ignoring how you feel, but rather checking in with yourself before you act. Maybe you need to count to ten, take a walk, or give Joy a chance to step forward. Meditation, too, is like inviting Calm into the control room—training your brain to handle even the most chaotic moments.

𝗕𝗲 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀

Mindfulness means staying in the moment and being aware of what’s happening inside the control center. Anger might barge at the door but you need to remain very classy. So, if you notice your heart racing or your hands shaking, you can step in before things escalate—this is how you stay very demure, and very cutesy. Simple breathing exercises can calm the mind and body, letting you respond thoughtfully instead of impulsively—very mindful.

𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲

When Anger is trying to shout the loudest, remember the power of communication. Instead of launching into an emotional outburst, express how you feel in a way that does not put the other person on the defensive. Using "I" statements like "I feel upset when…" or sandwich method can de-escalate conflicts and create space for constructive dialogue, giving Joy and Understanding a chance to come forward.

𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗮 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗹𝗲𝘁

Sometimes, your emotions can be too much to contain, and that is okay. You can do sublimation where you engage in a healthy activity that enables you to be productive (e.g., journaling, boxing, running), and at the same time vent your emotions. This allows you to process your emotions, without taking drastic actions.

Emotional intelligence is not about avoiding your emotions, nor pretending Anger or Sadness don’t exist. It’s about learning how to handle each emotion properly, without letting them control your actions. So, honey, the next time you feel that Anger is rising, don’t push it. Remember that you are still in the driver’s seat, so manage it wisely, and let Wisdom guide you forward.